Oh me. When is it exactly that you're supposed to feel like an adult? Even if its different for everyone, there should still be a moment or time when your childish tendencies go away and you take on security and responsibility like.....how about you just stop feeling like a little kid. That's me so much of the time. I want an instinct to kick in, not so I don't ever have to make decisions, but so I'm always prepared and inclined towards the right. That was a mature way to go about things. Is this in reference to specific incident. Not that I am thinking of presently; only thinking. Tired of dodging out of fear. I suppose my definition of an adult is - someone who ceases to be afraid.
After deciding so many times that I'm not afraid. Not of bad dreams or the darkness; not of saying the wrong thing or choosing the wrong time, not of letting things go or appearing weak....I still find myself in utter fear. I'm constantly afraid of always wanting what I don't have. There could always be more I'm missing out on. And disappointment can have a crippling affect on me. What if, What if, what if plays like a broken record in my head. And what if I spend my whole life waiting?
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