A Better Me?

While numerous rejections by different places of employment haven't been very uplifting in the slightest, I have enjoyed my time off more than I expected.  I figured it would be nice, but there have been little lulls or spurts of blessings.  Having three other people in the house can be trialing, a real chore and I often don't deal well with it.....I'm impatient and easily irritated.  But having these subtle moments with people has been uplifting.  
I often wonder if I'm good at who I am.  Not good in the sense of personal thriving, but in who I am to everyone else.  Sometimes, even in my daily routine it's hard to remember my role to others; I get lost in what I want from people instead of what I should give.  Maybe someone would do a better job at being me, would take more chances, have more opportunities, met more people, and so on.  I don't know.....
I'm just asking myself if, as a daughter, a sister, a friend, I'm valued. Not just loved because, well, family loves you.  But if I come through in needed ways? 

Different Lands

My writing has been overshadowed by my travels, paying the price for me to explore.  I didn't want to try to cram a reflection into a short sitting, so I stored it all up for something a bit more proper.  Three weeks and three countries has left me rather drained, with some breathtaking photos, some tended wounds, some clinching words, and a backpack full of smelly clothes. Traveling is messy and exhausting, and even though it can be said to be an even trade, there's always great satisfaction in coming home......even when I've fallen in love with a place, like Ireland.  This journey was a bit different, in the sense that I had a different set of expectations than usual.  I don't think those expectations were let down, but perhaps met in a way other than what I planned. Sometimes I consider the advantages and disadvantages of traveling with someone versus traveling alone; I don't really know if one is better than the other, maybe at times.

It was inevitable that my brother and I butt heads and bicker, it was the after that I hadn't quite figured on.  I think we stood up to the challenge, I think we made making amends a priority even when it was a bit painful.  There are times I'd rather just not deal with it - not even the argument.  Whatever, have your opinion or your belief and let's move through what we're here to do.  But I realize I can't do that forever and still expect to have a healthy relationship with someone, can I?

We retraced the steps of giants, walked through battle ground, cheered on the world's game, sat with Shakespeare, gazed upon some of the oldest books, climbed mountains, drank with locals, biked the land of the Druids, danced on the beach, visited Hogwarts, canoed the canals, stood in Anne Frank's bedroom, witnessed holy matrimony, and ate enough for a group of five.
And lots of conversation, because we spent nearly every waking moment together for three weeks, after hardly spending any time together for the past year and a half. We muscled through and now back at home I'm able to step back a bit.  I think it will be a more sound reunion when he returns home next week.